Help parents to help their children
By John Mohan

Jerry and Grace have three children, all pre-school age". They would not be considered ideal parents by any stretch of the imagination. He's on social assistance and works the odd temp job while battling alcoholism and anger problems. She's a crack addict who works in the sex-trade industry. Sometimes she "works" to buy drugs, sometimes she works to buy milk for the kids. Both carry baggage from their own painful, impoverished childhoods.

During the past few years they have relied on downtown agencies, community centres and the few churches still left in the inner city to help them make a better life for their children. To give them nutritional meals they couldn't afford otherwise. To provide a safe, clean environment with unconditional love instead of environments like the abusive, run-down, addicted environments they grew up in and fear their children are destined to.

When the couple's relationship deteriorated and they separated, Grace initially received custody of the children. Jerry, worried for their safety and care, asked that parental responsibilities be transferred to him ... but his own checkered past made the process difficult. He asked Siloam Mission's director of patron services Theresa Saunders to write a letter of reference for him. She agreed but limited her endorsement to what she knew: he had enrolled in an addictions treatment program, was picking better friends to associate with, had significantly improved his parenting skills in the two years she'd known him and was working more consistently to provide for his family.

NEATLY-DRESSED

Shortly after, Jerry was granted custody of one of the children with a decision on the others pending. Earlier this month he brought his neatly-dressed and washed son to visit Ms. Saunders so together they could thank her for her efforts. It's a good news story for today, but the future is yet to be revealed.

Theresa has worked in the inner city for four years. As she recounted the story to me, I hoped her experience would provide an answer to a gnawing question I had: "What can be done so Jerry and Grace's children aren't doomed to perpetuate the poverty and brokenness their parents inherited?" She thought for a moment before responding: "Your question actually raises more issues than answers. But as a single parent, Jerry doesn't need more government programs. The greatest thing he needs is someone to help him learn how to be a good dad."

Manitoba Family Services staff carry large case loads. Too large for them to give people like Jerry the long-term personal help they need so their children can realize a bright future. In some ways the system is fundamentally flawed as some people are penalized for trying to work themselves out of the system. For most on assistance, the journey is gradual but the consequences are immediate. One mother claims she was cut off social assistance because she saved enough money to send her children to a summer camp last year. The rationale? If she could afford to send her kids to camp, she obviously didn't need social assistance.

Political parties and social advocates talk about ending childhood poverty. But, in order to properly address it, we have to think about the pieces needed that will help create bright futures for children who will eventually become adults and parents. Children like Jerry and Grace's. To end childhood poverty, we must begin helping the impoverished parents.

Originally printed in the Winnipeg Sun, Wednesday, April 2, 2008.
Reprinted with the permission of Sun Media Corporation.