Commit to marriage
By John Mohan

He came from England, having grown up in a small family with parents who had been married for 40 years. A teacher by profession, Lyndon Bournon is book-smart. She, on the other hand, had grown up with six siblings, and her parents had divorced before she was a teenager. My cousin Brenda Magee was street-smart.

They met one night in 1981 when his band "The Blue Chips" was playing in a Brandon hotel. Brenda worked for a travelling fair and, over the following months, they continued to cross paths throughout the prairies.

Somewhere along their journeys, their feelings grew beyond friendship. He asked her to travel from Brandon to meet him and the band in North Battleford, Saskatchewan. And she arrived fresh from having wisdom teeth extracted, swollen and bruised from the surgery.

On the third day of officially dating, Lyndon said, "If I asked you to marry me, what would you say?" Brenda answered that she "would probably say yes." Three days later, on Nov. 30, 1982, a justice of the peace married them at the Marlborough Hotel in North Battleford. Brenda remembers, "We needed to have some witnesses, so we used Mike the hotel desk clerk and his girlfriend, plus a taxi driver and his girlfriend."

MONOPOLY YES, TELEVISION NO

A few days later, the newlyweds returned to Manitoba on a Greyhound bus and settled into a Furby Street apartment. They had no furniture and used cardboard boxes for tables. They slept on air mattresses, which Brenda ingeniously modified with some bed springs and drywall she found. They had a Monopoly game and no television. Some evenings they just played hide-and-seek.

With no vehicle, they walked everywhere. Once they hitchhiked to Brandon for a job interview. Their longest ride was under the tarp of a west-bound egg truck. At the time, Brenda was pregnant with their first son.

One day their apartment was robbed and Lyndon's guitars were stolen. That night, they slept in fear ... but the experience brought them even closer together. Eventually life began to turn around. They were blessed with two sons. Six years after their wedding, they bought their first house.

This past December, I had the privilege of helping Lyndon and Brenda celebrate their silver wedding anniversary with family and friends. Complete with wedding gown, tuxedos, attendants, limousine and catered banquet.

They recount that life and marriage wasn't always happy, but they worked through issues because neither wanted the problems to block their true feelings for each other. They feel that having nothing at the beginning of their marriage except each other and being able to grow together has been key to their success. People comment that they still act like they're on their honeymoon because they still hold hands and kiss in public.

In nearly 29 years as a minister, I officiated at numerous wedding ceremonies. Most couples fantasize about the "picture perfect" wedding. Although unspoken, people often believe the grander the wedding, the greater likelihood of it lasting. The better the incomes and first home, the better the marriage will be. But when almost half of all marriages fail, especially those of the rich and famous, ostentatious ceremonies don't seem to guarantee anything. Lifelong marriages are those in which both people are committed to the well-being of the other and to the marriage. Happy Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Originally printed in the Winnipeg Sun, Wednesday, February 13, 2008.
Reprinted with the permission of Sun Media Corporation.