Blessed man thanks to Brenda
By John Mohan

I met her when we were both 17-year-old high school students in Moose Jaw, Sask. She came from a strong Christian family -- her dad was president of a small Bible college. I had recently moved to MJ. I grew up in a single-parent family that moved across the country -- my father was an air traffic controller with the Canadian armed forces.

Blond-haired and slim, she had a quiet yet friendly demeanour. She was exceptionally smart, often helping me with my algebra homework. She sometimes fielded my religion questions as I progressed in my faith journey. We began dating as 19-year-old college students. Eventually we talked about marriage but neither was interested in being in a full-time pastoral career. She didn't want to be under the scrutiny of a congregation and I didn't want to raise a family on a clergy salary. However our path soon changed shortly after our engagement and we planned for both our marriage and a clergy career. (Hello fishbowl, goodbye security.)

Brenda Siggelkow and I were married March 2, 1979. Our first home was a tiny one bedroom house which we rented for $100 per month. Our first car was a '72 Monte Carlo. Brenda worked full time and I part-time until I finished my college education.

The following years were neither tranquil nor painful. For 22 years we pastored small Prairie congregations (I preached and she played the piano) and held supplemental jobs while raising our three children. I was always the risk-taker and Brenda supported me in both my dreams and restlessness. But moving to Winnipeg to head Siloam Mission was more her idea than mine. Last week we sat in a French restaurant in Beverly Hills celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary. As we reminisced we had different questions for each other. Brenda asked what I saw as the highlights of our marriage. I asked what she envisioned for us in the next five years. We also questioned each other on what it takes to make a marriage last. Is it a religious faith? The Barna Research Group reveals that more Christian marriages fail than non-faith marriages. Is it having enough money?

The rich have broken marriages, too.

Considering how different our backgrounds were, how often we disagree on big and little things, and the arduous career path we've taken, we have three conclusions about what has made our marriage work: First is we've always had shared causes that went beyond our own needs. Secondly we've maintained a healthy perspective on shared crisis -- somehow things would work out, God would be with us and we'd be better people for the adversities. Third is our mutual commitment to our marriage and the well-being of the other person. As we exchanged cards, she included a note that 30 years ago we were just two naive kids believing we could do anything, including marriage. My added note to Brenda's card thanked her for taking a chance on me so long ago.

I suspect she could have done better but picked me anyway. I'm a blessed guy.

--John Mohan is the CEO of Siloam Mission.

Originally printed in the Winnipeg Sun, Wednesday, March 4, 2009.
Reprinted with the permission of Sun Media Corporation.